


& i know theres no changing your mind...

by zombielots



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant, F/M, Falling In Love, The Author Regrets Nothing, We Just Love Each Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:28:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25036999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zombielots/pseuds/zombielots
Summary: In the end, He just wants her to be happy- even at the expense of his own.
Relationships: Daryl Dixon/Carol Peletier
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	& i know theres no changing your mind...

\- 

When the Atlanta camp first started, Carol tried everything to please her husband. She'd caught many looks of pity from nearly everyone. Except from Daryl. 

At the time she thought it was just pure coldness from him- now she thinks even then (especially then) Daryl saw strength in her. 

Their first interaction was over a cut on her hand. 

Like many people, Carol first found the Archer aloof and even arrogant. So when Daryl approached her as she was bent over the fire trying to get it started, she drew a breath in out of fear. 

He'd stopped next to her, brow furrowed in annoyed concern. His hands twitched out to touch her's uncertainly. 

She'd looked down quickly to notice a gash on the side of her palm. A quiet gasp escaped her at the realization, she didn't even feel anything. 

"Been there for a while." He grunts, she notices some first aid supplies in his right hand. 

"Shit." She whispers, looking around to where her husband may be; he wouldn't like Daryl so close. 

"He won't be back a while," Daryl meets her eyes for a moment before taking a wipe to clean the dried blood off. "Made sure to come help when he wouldn't be 'round." 

His hands are so gentle, all thoughts of seeing the man as a threat go out the window. His consideration to her condition with her husband made Carol's chest stutter. 

"Thank you." She says quietly, allowing him to bandage her up. Their eyes meet again, and sees something flash in his eyes; something dangerous like affection. 

-

"Daryl!" Her voice cracks as she calls for him- following him into the woods as he stalks off in a fury. 

"Just go away!" He yells over his shoulder, she'd pushed too hard to try and get him to open up to her. Unknowingly, she'd hit a nerve when mentioning his brother. All she wanted to do was apologize. 

She tries her best to keep up, but the Redneck is fast and much more used to the terrain than her. She loses him after a while, with teary shouts for him to wait. 

She stops walking, giving up on the hopeless endeavor. It doesn't take long to realize she's lost, not nearly as skilled in the deep woods as the other. 

In her panic, she fails to process the sounds of a snarling walker. She's head to head struggling with it as it tries to snap at her face, hot tears streaming down her temples she's ready to just let go- face God's ultimate punishment for her infedility and homicidal thoughts against her husband. 

Then, the walker slumps and stops moving. A black arrow sticking out of the back of it's head, all air leaves her lungs. 

She rolls the dead off of her, and stands, breathing heavily still. Palms pressed into her face as Carol wipes away the tears to stare at Daryl. 

"I thought you left me behind." She laughs nervously. 

Daryl still looks upset, but his eyes reveal a layer of concern for her. He walks closer, looking at the ground in a show of submission to the fact that he'd over reacted. 

"Never gon'a leave you behind." 

-

During the months they were on the road, Carol became tougher. The loss of her daughter changed her so deeply, she hardly recognized herself in the mirror. 

Daryl looked at her with pride and respect, so she couldn't dislike it all that much. 

He'd take her knives and sharpen them for her, taken her hands to rub them between his in the cold. His breath warming them when it wasn't enough, but letting his lips linger against her fingertips. 

Silently, he'd jerk his head as a request for her to follow him and he'd teach her small things she didn't know. And he'd look at her softly, like she wasn't covered in walker blood, like it wasn't the end of the world. 

He looked at her like he had all day to. 

"Carol," His voice grumbled like the low fire she stared into; briefly wondered if it was talking to her. "Eat."

She looks up, he's holding out a can if Chili. Half eaten by him, they were running low- barely had anything to pass around. 

"You have it. I'm good." He gives her a sceptical look. 

"You didn't eat this morning." He takes her hand in his and presses the can into her palm. "Eat." He says it a bit forcefully, and walks to the other side of the little camp to Glenn. 

She stares at the beans in the can for a moment. Carol swore she hid it good enough that morning. 

Eyes flicker up and meet Daryl's from over the fire. There's something there, something hauntingly familiar and warm. 

She dares to think that it might be love. 

\- 

They'd found solace in the prison. Everything felt like it was falling into place, and during the fall Carol knew what she was feeling. She knew Daryl felt it as well. 

Looks became touches. 

His rough hand coming to touch her elbow to get her attention, lingering on her back as they walked together. A kiss on her cheek when no one was looking. 

It made the world shine a little brighter, color seemed to paint her vision vividly. And a world where the dead walked felt like a playground. 

It felt like middle school all over again, when a hesitant man like him loved. It was all shy, and unspoken words.   
Carol relied mostly on reading between the lines, which wasn't hard- and she didn't mind. 

"Carol." He calls, a beckoning hand on her elbow as he approaches her. 

She hums warmly as a greeting, handing an infant back to his mother. She'd taken on the duty of being the camp's resident mother figure. A role she elegantly stepped into with natural ease. 

"Rick wants you to watch over Jude," He starts. "They're going out and everyone is busy." 

"You aren't going?" She asks, standing as she speaks. They walk together, hands brushing- and the air is familiar, she recognizes bashfulness fall across his features. 

"Carl wanted to go." I wanted to stay. 

She just smiles at him, and he huffs before he makes a comment about Carol being a busybody. 

-

After Beth's untimely death, Daryl began to crawl to Carol more in the night. He'd shyly press his chest to her back, then his cheek to her shoulder- then his arms around her waist. 

She let it happen, didn't mention anything other than her hums of encouragement as he'd come closer through the passing of nights. Carol had feared any acknowledgment would spook the already skittish Dixon man. 

Then, one night- with his face pressed against Carol's neck, intimate sighs warning her shoulder- he says it. 

"I love you." 

It's quiet, and she knows that he's well aware she's awake. A small confession, hidden and buried under the now seemingly loud sound of crickets. 

She traces her hand down from where it lightly sat on his forearm to hold his hand. She grips it like a lifeline, like she's gripping the side of the pool at the deep end. Daryl understands, pressed his face closer to her skin, like he could imprint the feeling of her into his memory. 

He wished he could've held Beth like this, remember the feeling of her skin long after she's gone. 

He wished Beth was wrong. 

He wished he didn't miss her so much, but that felt like an insult to even think. 

Carol can feel Daryl fall asleep, the slow and steady puffs of air from his nose tickling her neck. She doesn't get much sleep, repeating the sound of Daryl's words in her head. 

Why couldn't she say it back? He could die tomorrow, 10 minutes from now. 

It was hard to swallow that she just wasn't ready. 

-

Daryl knew that she was hesitant about him leaving to go look for new Alexandrian residents. Not because he couldn't take care of himself- but because they finally found a safe space. 

The prison was a rough diamond they had found out of pure luck. But here, it was a goldmine. 

A guarantee for safety for years to come. 

He'd been gone awhile this time, and when he stepped into the doorway to the house that he had shared with her and Sasha, the air felt stiff. 

"You were gone for longer than usual this time." She mumbles, rolling out dough for some casserole that neither of them care about. 

"I'm sorry." Is all he can think to say, head down like a scolded kid. 

He moves closer when she doesn't acknowledge him or the gesture. The empty silence replacing where she'd lightly tease him, where a banter would be. Arms wrapped around her, and words spoken into her shoulder. 

"I'm okay." 

"I know you are, hun." She finally says, like a sigh of relief. 

\- 

In Negan's possession, one of the only things that keeps his heart afloat is Carol. 

He likes to imagine what it would be like to have her by his side in a world where walkers didn't plague them. 

Daryl has never been more relieved that the Saviours never knew about his love for her. Barely were acquainted with her existence. 

Parts of Daryl wish he never knew her, they are small; but they throb everytime he feels the physical pain of his own heartbreak. 

All he can think about is getting out, mourning Glenn's death- and finding Carol. 

Maybe he didn't say it clearly enough, or maybe she needs to hear it again. 

He loves her. 

\- 

"I love you." 

The words are spoken without thought the moment he's stepped inside where she is staying. 

The moment the silence is enclosed by the sound of the door shutting. They stay in the entryway for a beat, staring at each other. 

"I love you." He says it again, her eyes looked so full of pain at the acknowledgment of it. 

"I heard you." She looks away, and Daryl feels like he can't breathe. "We won't." 

All he can do is nod, unable to meet her eyes as he blinks back his own tears. He isn't able to see the pain she is going through by rejecting him too. 

\- 

He learns to deal with it. The love never stops, the throb of regret for falling for her never stops. Every passing day and hour, he falls more and more in love with her. 

Even Connie didnt stop it. 

No matter what his love drifts to her. 

Maybe Daryl wasn't enough. Because she gets engaged to Ezekiel, and lives a life with him. He doesn't get jealous, he doesn't own her- she owes him nothing. 

He no longer allows his touches or his gaze to linger. Sometimes in the right light, when he restrains himself in places or moments where there would be a linger- he thinks he sees her wilt. 

His jaw has become sore from moments of clenching while around the happy couple. He tries not to take note of the fact that he's made her happier. 

He doesn't question Carol's choice. 

"What do you think?" She asks one day, her fingers running through Dog's fur. 

"He's good." Its spoken casually, but there's a bit of tightness to it. 

A long beat of silence washes over them. 

"Why don't you tell me how you really feel, Daryl?" She looks up, a hard annoyed expression falls over her face and tone. 

"Would it change anything?" He asks, genuine and tired; his chest twists like someone had physically squeezed it. 

"You should be more honest with me." She shakes her head like it's a shame. 

"I already told you that I love you." He swallows back his emotions, looking at the ground like it's an old friend. "What do you want me to do? Tell you that you can't be happy with someone else?" 

"Yes." Carol looks at him with desperation. 

"Why?" He tries not to look, but he can never deny her. 

"Because I'm not."

**Author's Note:**

> I may have a smut part 2... we will see.


End file.
